I'm sure everyone goes through this. Correction: I'm sure every non-medicated person goes through this. I've never taken Ritalin, but I'm craving the idea something fierce right now.
Here's the deal: I have like thirty hours to complete my grad school application in order to be considered for a scholarship for the coming fall semester. But, in true slacker fashion, I have managed to find everything else far more interesting. Here's a quick list of some of the more interesting distractions I've managed to find over the last hour or so:
1. The new Rob Bell book controversy.
-Just a couple reflective thoughts on this one. First, I still like Rob Bell. He's been on the fringe of the Christian realm for a while now; his struggles with the established church are struggles that I share, albeit in my case on an impotently mental level. And it irks the hell out of me (see what I did there?) when the untouchable ones (Piper, Driscoll, etc) react as pompous jerks sneering off of theological high-horses. But now I'm being as judgmental as
they are... ah, the temptations to engage in the mud of church battlegrounds. I'm definitely going to read the book, though.
2. Catch up with the Oscar results, as I was busy watching "Let Me In" and "The Social Network" during the live broadcast. Both movies are amazing, just in case you wondered.
3. My favorite web comic
4. Reddit, of course... still giggling at this and this... and still kinda annoyed at this.
5. Reflect on my fear of success and fear of failure and general lack of personal efficacy, remember not to be negative about what I don't have, buckle down and attempt to finish the autobiographical section of the application... immediately get massively overwhelmed and retreat to a blog to distract myself even further.
So now, to complete the cycle, off I go to see if I can make it another round with life.
Hehe... dropped my taco...
Monday, February 28, 2011
Cowpens: February 27, 2011
its roots
silently reach
towards conversation
wet and heavy
its tides groan
beneath the gentle gravity
of palms
it soft-shoes in
selfish
hourglass sands
sometimes
it has two
left feet
two trees stand vigil
on ancient battlegrounds
freshly watered
they whisper wisdom
in the winds
I wonder if
their roots
are connected
too
we are seeds
with self-sustenance
for a brief moment
but then must grow
roots
and often bark
and sometimes leaves
some things are seasonal
i've found
i'm not
an evergreen
winter only seems
like death
but i've still got
some sap
i know i'm not poplar, birch
but
if i can
i decide you, us
Monday, February 21, 2011
Möbius Strip
I'm 26 now. Awesome.
I'm tired of prefacing things.
List:
1. Measureless goals are empty dreams.
2. Excellence and elitism hold hands.
2b. Elitism and nepotism hold hands.
3. Direction and progression are not the same.
4. Meditative, present-oriented self-actualization is useful only if you have money.
5. No one seems to differentiate between what God does and what you do under the influence of a God-flavored motivation or strategy.
5b. Are what God does and what you do under a God-flavored motivation equally important?
5c. Why do I feel tricked when I'm told that God won't work unless I do first?
I've been trying my best to lose control, but control is an onion.
Control is an onion shaped like a möbius strip; internal and external, but you still can only get to it from one side at a time.
Losing control is trickier than seizing it.
I've been thinking a lot about trying not to think about everything a lot.
Like a character in a play, only actions that arise out of necessity bring progression to the story. The absence of necessity easily facilitates the absence of action. The absence of action stops any progression, resulting in dissatisfaction. There is no story. Two roads present themselves: passivity and activity. Passivity yields to the inaction... which is an action. One road presents itself: activity, either positive or negative, internal or external. Passivity is an illusion. There is always a story. The absence of satisfaction brings action. Action easily facilitates the awareness of necessity. Like a character in a play, actions that create necessity bring direction to the story.
I've been doing a lot that seems like spinning my wheels.
Seizing control is easier than losing it, but it requires both direction and progression.
Once upon a time a farmer went to market and purchased a fox, a goose, and a bag of beans. On his way home, the farmer came to the bank of a river and hired a boat. But in crossing the river by boat, the farmer could carry only himself and a single one of his purchases - the fox, the goose, or the bag of the beans. If left alone, the fox would eat the goose, and the goose would eat the beans. The farmer's challenge was to carry himself and his purchases to the far bank of the river, leaving each purchase intact. How did he do it?
I've been trying my best to find control, but control is an onion.
I'm tired of prefacing things.
List:
1. Measureless goals are empty dreams.
2. Excellence and elitism hold hands.
2b. Elitism and nepotism hold hands.
3. Direction and progression are not the same.
4. Meditative, present-oriented self-actualization is useful only if you have money.
5. No one seems to differentiate between what God does and what you do under the influence of a God-flavored motivation or strategy.
5b. Are what God does and what you do under a God-flavored motivation equally important?
5c. Why do I feel tricked when I'm told that God won't work unless I do first?
I've been trying my best to lose control, but control is an onion.
Control is an onion shaped like a möbius strip; internal and external, but you still can only get to it from one side at a time.
Losing control is trickier than seizing it.
I've been thinking a lot about trying not to think about everything a lot.
Like a character in a play, only actions that arise out of necessity bring progression to the story. The absence of necessity easily facilitates the absence of action. The absence of action stops any progression, resulting in dissatisfaction. There is no story. Two roads present themselves: passivity and activity. Passivity yields to the inaction... which is an action. One road presents itself: activity, either positive or negative, internal or external. Passivity is an illusion. There is always a story. The absence of satisfaction brings action. Action easily facilitates the awareness of necessity. Like a character in a play, actions that create necessity bring direction to the story.
I've been doing a lot that seems like spinning my wheels.
Seizing control is easier than losing it, but it requires both direction and progression.
Once upon a time a farmer went to market and purchased a fox, a goose, and a bag of beans. On his way home, the farmer came to the bank of a river and hired a boat. But in crossing the river by boat, the farmer could carry only himself and a single one of his purchases - the fox, the goose, or the bag of the beans. If left alone, the fox would eat the goose, and the goose would eat the beans. The farmer's challenge was to carry himself and his purchases to the far bank of the river, leaving each purchase intact. How did he do it?
I've been trying my best to find control, but control is an onion.
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